second chance
I posted months and months ago about what lesson we can learn from wanting a second chance. What things I would do differently in my relationship with Harry if hindsight had helped out.
Well, he and I are working on that second chance. God is amazing in his ability to make all things new. Because even though I was married to this man for seven years every time he calls me baby it feels like those first giddy days of a new romance. And every bit of bitterness I thought I would have, is not there at all. I look at him and reflect on choices I wish I would have made, and thankful for choices I now get to make. Nothing is taken for granted and a huge amount of gratitude and respect goes into this second chance.
We are taking everything really slow and keeping the kids in the dark for now. I know life does not grant you many do overs, so I am so invested in really living up to the responsibility that God is trusting me with.
The 20 year old that fell for Harry and this 31 year old who is falling again are such different people. She had no idea how her choice of words could cause such discord. She had no idea that the only way to silence insecurities is to speak them out loud. She had no idea how freeing it is to need someone. Or how whole she could feel in his arms. She was obsessed with control and with changing him to be what she thought he should be. She cared too much what everyone else thought they should be. She was jealous of him. She never shut up long enough to hear him, and she always had to be right. She made his dreams small and eventually silent.
I want to build him up, I want his dreams to run wild in our conversations. I want to say what I feel and trust him with those feelings. I want him to be who he is all the time, we might not agree but we'll both have that security of knowing we can be ourselves. And I want his arms to hold me as often as they can.
here is the whole story if u dont know it
http://whateverloribehr.blogspot.com/2008/06/forever-came.html
Well, he and I are working on that second chance. God is amazing in his ability to make all things new. Because even though I was married to this man for seven years every time he calls me baby it feels like those first giddy days of a new romance. And every bit of bitterness I thought I would have, is not there at all. I look at him and reflect on choices I wish I would have made, and thankful for choices I now get to make. Nothing is taken for granted and a huge amount of gratitude and respect goes into this second chance.
We are taking everything really slow and keeping the kids in the dark for now. I know life does not grant you many do overs, so I am so invested in really living up to the responsibility that God is trusting me with.
The 20 year old that fell for Harry and this 31 year old who is falling again are such different people. She had no idea how her choice of words could cause such discord. She had no idea that the only way to silence insecurities is to speak them out loud. She had no idea how freeing it is to need someone. Or how whole she could feel in his arms. She was obsessed with control and with changing him to be what she thought he should be. She cared too much what everyone else thought they should be. She was jealous of him. She never shut up long enough to hear him, and she always had to be right. She made his dreams small and eventually silent.
I want to build him up, I want his dreams to run wild in our conversations. I want to say what I feel and trust him with those feelings. I want him to be who he is all the time, we might not agree but we'll both have that security of knowing we can be ourselves. And I want his arms to hold me as often as they can.
here is the whole story if u dont know it
http://whateverloribehr.blogspot.com/2008/06/forever-came.html
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)