moving on

I really have nothing to say, but I don't want the last post to linger. So I thought I would just post some reasons to be thankful

My kids who are truly the best
thing about me. They are so good to me. And I
am honored to be their mom.

Jenny Cannon who has been so important to Ethan's education.
And who I am So happy to call my friend. Her heart
reminds me to keep on moving forward.

New friends who quickly became forever friends

For getting to be a part of the most amazing story, and a part of these lives

Blog friends who became real friends

some serious long term friendships, that have
gotten me through life's hard times. And who are in almost
all of my stories. From Deborah teaching me to squeal a tire,
to rollerblading with Ashley at 2am. Teninis With Jeanne,
and sirlynn (I think that was his name) Denise getting
me in trouble for eating chips on the school bus.
Six flag trips, sanibel retreats.

The fact that my kids get to grow up with other kids we love.

And while everyone in my life plays a signaficat role, right now I have to say I am so very thankful for Jeanne. Everyone needs someone or something to remind them to hold on to God. When the world wants you to give up and just quit trying, we need someone to remind us that God still believes in us. And we need to feel like we can show the worst side and still be loved, without judgement. We need a safe place.....Someone who makes us want to be closer to God

So see it's all good!!!!

Just Friends

So way back when, I posted about possibilities and second chances.
I have been asked for an update on that post several times. I have wanted to post something on it for a while, but I just never knew what to say. At the start of things all my updates would have sounded like a little girl with a crush. Then as time passed it would have sounded more like a mom who was just too busy to date. Then some confusion and some soul searching. Then maybe a girl who just wants to be pursued, a girl who needs to feel loved. Then they would have started sounding like a girl who knew it was over but could not bring herself to say it. So finally today I can give an update.. It may not be the best day to let emotions get I found out I have a side of me that gets hurts and then turns me into a bitter baby mama...

Of course I am not going to pour it all out in blog land. But I will say round two came back to deceit and hurt. So I am moving on and putting the idea of me and Harry out of the rim of possibilities. The kids never knew we were dating or whatever you call it, so thank God they do not have to deal with any crushed hopes.
I have changed so much since we were married but the part of me that has remained the same is that I love God and I trust him fully. Today I am sad of course and today I am fighting that side that wants to cuss him out...........BUT it's all good.. I am fine with moving on. I told God through all of this that I wanted him (God) over anything else, and I wanted any deceit or fakeness or whatever to be made known. And God saw to it that his girl was in the know.

So there is the update.. If you feel like saying a prayer could you just ask that I would win the fight against anger and that Harry.................Well just ask God to .......................Hmmmm Not sure what to say there.
Don't feel like you have to leave a comment on this post I know it's hard to know what to say, and really I am fine and I am trusting God.

Sail away

The cruise was amazing, the kids had so much fun. Ethan seemed to be known by everyone, we'd be walking around and you'd hear "hey Ethan". He did a lot of stuff with the kids camp on board, even had a late night party for 10pm until 3am. Elissa stayed with me most of the time, she just wanted to be in the pool or eating ice cream, oh and the endless supply of apples was a hit with her. Forget about food variety, my kids stuck with pizza, EVERYDAY!!! Mexico was amazing.... Driving the dune buggy was quite an adventure. I do believe we'll be crusing again next year!!

That kind of Love

I was watching home videos of my kids, and my heart began to ache for those moments of holding little babies. It's funny looking at them now, I don't love them any less but I love them so differently. What if our love for our kids never changed? We would never let them out of our sight, if we had that infant kind of love. It does change, because we are getting ready to let them go, let them grow up and go off to college, to go and start their own families. Letting them leave home. But I think God loves us with that infant type of love always, because he is preparing us to come home. I like to think of God never letting me out of his sight, I like to think of him knowing when the time is right for me to be in his arms. I like to think no matter how grown up on earth I have to be I am still his little girl.