second chance

I posted months and months ago about what lesson we can learn from wanting a second chance. What things I would do differently in my relationship with Harry if hindsight had helped out.
Well, he and I are working on that second chance. God is amazing in his ability to make all things new. Because even though I was married to this man for seven years every time he calls me baby it feels like those first giddy days of a new romance. And every bit of bitterness I thought I would have, is not there at all. I look at him and reflect on choices I wish I would have made, and thankful for choices I now get to make. Nothing is taken for granted and a huge amount of gratitude and respect goes into this second chance.
We are taking everything really slow and keeping the kids in the dark for now. I know life does not grant you many do overs, so I am so invested in really living up to the responsibility that God is trusting me with.
The 20 year old that fell for Harry and this 31 year old who is falling again are such different people. She had no idea how her choice of words could cause such discord. She had no idea that the only way to silence insecurities is to speak them out loud. She had no idea how freeing it is to need someone. Or how whole she could feel in his arms. She was obsessed with control and with changing him to be what she thought he should be. She cared too much what everyone else thought they should be. She was jealous of him. She never shut up long enough to hear him, and she always had to be right. She made his dreams small and eventually silent.
I want to build him up, I want his dreams to run wild in our conversations. I want to say what I feel and trust him with those feelings. I want him to be who he is all the time, we might not agree but we'll both have that security of knowing we can be ourselves. And I want his arms to hold me as often as they can.

here is the whole story if u dont know it
http://whateverloribehr.blogspot.com/2008/06/forever-came.html



18 comments:

Jennifer said...

I don't know him, but it sounds like he is very special. I hope things work out and I know God will take care of everything else. Love you!

Deborah said...

I am very optimistic for your second chance. I think you've really learned alot about who both of you are. Marriage is hard and now that you've had a "practice run" maybe the next time will be perfect!

Anonymous said...

Lori,
I just read your story and I can't tell you how close to home I cn relate to you.I am twice your age, old enought to be your mother but I am divorced also and share a story just like yours. We sometimes get cold hearted and don't relize how much we are hurting our spouses and when we realixe what we are doing it is too late. I don't have that chance to make up and try to work it out because my ex has remarried and that is a different story also. I cried so hard when I heard that he was getting married because it was a final chapter that I couldn't go back and try to rewrite. We alwayed talked about wanting grandchildren and sharing them together. Please remember what you have gone through and how you know you messed up and make it work this time. We can get in the old habits and go back to our old ways if we let satin slip in there. Keep god a part of it and make sure you are a blessing to him everyday... I will be praying for you...

Cyndi said...

Second chances are wonderful!I am happy for you. I can "hear" the happiness in your words. I'll pray for you and your Harry.
xoxoxo

Xandra@Heart-of-Service said...

It sounds as though God through His gracious providence has provided an opportunity for you to do it right this time. It also sounds as though you have matured spiritually in so many important ways since you were 20.

I will be praying for you and Harry. Praying that you will perfect the art of outserving one another and always putting God first in your relationship. What an awesome opportunity and what a joy for you and your children!

Xandra

Ang baylis said...

Dear Lori (& Harry),
You have a girl up in Michigan who is praying for you and Praising God for this second chance. Your story makes me so happy and I know for sure it is making God happy and satan mad! :) I hope you can take it one day at a time and see each other like God sees you! What a great testimony for you and your children.
Love you,
Angie xoxoxoxo

Christy said...

Im so happy you guys are getting the second chance you both deserve. Time changes and heals all things and your right this time you are more mature and you know what to do and what not to do to make things as perfect as possible!
Good Luck and keep us posted!

melissa said...

that is just so so so darn sweet! I am so happy that you have this amazing second chance!! :)

~Melissa

Jeanne said...

You are well aware of my thoughts, so I will say no more! Go Harry!!!

Denise said...

what great news. He just belongs with you and with your whole Wildwood "family".

Rachel said...

I'm praying for you, girl! I believe in second chances!

The Russ Family said...

Hi Lori,

Just catching up on my blogs. That is such great news. I know your heart must be busting at the seams. I'm so happy for you and will be praying that things will work out for your family again.

Ang baylis said...

Just wanted to pop on by to tell you I'm still praying for you guys!
Love you,
Angie xoxo

Cheryl said...

You are so right about second chances, few people get them. God has a plan for you and Harry. One of the best pieces of advice I can give you is to remember there are two sides of marriage. On one side you stand beside and support, on the other side you lean. Always allow God to be the center of your heart and He will take care of the rest.

Ang baylis said...

Still Praying, Siesta!
So much love,
Angie xoxo

JnL4God said...

Praying for you and Harry and a whole family.
Lynn

Leslie said...

Lori,
It is amazing how much we grow up during our twenties. I feel, at 29, that I just finally began to grow up and I, like you, am trying to be the wife that I have always wanted to be. It is so hard when your young and you don't even know who you are as a person, but then have to try and be everything for someone else. I am so excited about your second chance. I can't imagine me and the kids living without Bryan and just thinking about it helps me to know how happy you must be feeling. We will pray for you and Harry and the kids. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us. I always have aha moments when I read your blog.

Pam said...

Lori,
I am so very proud of you. I didn't know you were going through so much. You always have such a beautiful smile on your face. Your daughter looks so much like you it isn't funny. I think you were about her age when I met you years ago. I will be praying for you and Harry and your precious children.
You are so incredibly wise at a young age. Me and Dennis have been married for 35 years. We have had our ups and downs but we are soul mates and still love each other the way we did years ago! I see a long and wonderful future for you and Harry!
Love you,
Pam