Three weeks into school now. And it is hard, really hard.
Time with my kids is not near enough, money is not near enough. But the classes are hard enough. The driving is insane. The homework is excessive. And I feel more alive than ever. I feel like I know the plan and I see the purpose and am excited to see it all unfolding each and everyday. My kids have been great. They miss me and it's hard for them but they understand and they encourage me to get my homework done. Ethan likes that he is done with his and I am still having to do mine. They really do understand that I am doing this for all of us. Not sure how the money thing will work out. I have had to give up shifts for classes, so I am pretty much flipping a coin to see which bill gets paid. Even that spurs me on, that's why my butt is back in school.
On another note!
When Harry and I spilt up five years ago. He walked down a path that he took on purpose to get away from God. More than I wanted him to come back to me I wanted him to come back to God. I knew nothing would be okay w/o him and God being okay. Well that man now goes to church more than I do. And last week he put out there that he has really been praying about what God would have him do. I was done yall. I was mad and hurt and just done. But I still see him in songs and in day dreams. I still see him in the role he was meant to stay in. I was kind of mad because I wanted to be done and I just could not stop thinking about him, then he tells me he has been praying about our family. So dang it! God, I have prayed that for how many years!!!
Anyway I am not questioning it I am not analyzing it I am not even really talking about it. I am going to be still and wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!