Sometimes I feel like I really live two different lives. I have my christian friends and my non christian friends.(and of course there are those friends who are just my peeps who cross the lines of any lables, the ones who make it easy YOU know who you are) My non christian friends know I believe in God and they all know they can talk to me about anything anytime. And they are very very aware of how imperfect I am, and that is fine by them. I think I may be myself more around them, I never feel judged by them nor do I feel like I judge them. Sometimes in the christian circles I find myself feeling judged or not good enough. I feel like there are facades we all must wear in that circle. Logically as Christians we should be easy to be friends with and logically we should be the most "real" of all the people, and the last the very very last to judge anyone. If we are a christian then at some point we admitted we are a sinner and we need Jesus to forgive us many many times a day. If we believe in Jesus we believe in his way and his way was love. I just wonder if I, who knows who i am in God, feels like I don't belong within christian circles how much worse is it for someone who does not Know. I just wish we could see how we make others feel. Most of us deep down do know, because we talk about the ones out of our circle within our circle. There is a story told about gossip in the movie doubt that was perfect to my point. The short of it was a woman spoke falsely against someone and went to the priest to repent, he told her she was forgiven but to go to roof and cut open a pillow and tell him what happens, she came back to the priest after cutting the pillow and said there was feathers, feathers everywhere, he told her to then go find every feather, she said she could not because the wind carried them and she did not know where they traveled, the priest said and that is gossip.
My inperfections are many, and I am going to be real about them, and if this circle or that circle judge me for it then so be it. We will never get to a point of being able to truly help each other, if we can not get real with each other. How many plans of the enemy would fail if we had the freedom to be honest, if we had a Jesus kind of love to carry us through. How many pits could we avoid if we could just say "I'm jumping in help me"