Okay so after giving Jeanne a hard time about needing a new post, I seem to have blogger block.
Every time I go to write I can't seem to think of good positive stuff to write about. So I will just go by my blog title and write whatever comes to mind.
I spent some time today thinking about days past. And things I have come out of, good times and bad. Most of my reflection time was in the car on the way to pick up my kids. When the kids got in the car, as always I asked how there day was. Elissa then began to explain how she is no longer friends with a certain girl because that girl called her other friend a geek. That story went right along with my reflection. As kids and teenagers we seem to be very nonchalant in our meanness. We pick our best friends and make others know they are not one of them. We do our clubs and clique... We judge others and gossip up the phone lines. Only as adults do we seem to see the damage that does to others, or do we. Why is it in a church some are made to feel needed and others made to feel unseen. I understand we have our core friends, even Jesus had 12 core buddies. But I think we should drop the cliques at church and make sure everyone feels seen. I know what it feels like to feel unseen in a room full of people. I stopped going to church a long time ago, and not once did anyone call me to see why..... But believe me when I say I am okay with that in fact I am glad, because God put something new in me from that hurt. He put a realness in me, that has changed the very core of who I am. And let me clarify, I don't go to a church right now, But I do have fellowship and teaching, and I have daily moments that strengthen my relationship with Jesus. I have just taken the four walls of a building out of the picture. I hope one of these days God will place me at a church he wants me, until then though, my church is mobile. I wish we could just get a glimpse into the heart of the least of these at any given church.
And so what did I tell Elissa about her and the outed friend. I told her the only way to change someone is to be the change you want to see. It's good to stand up for your friend, and it's also important to be a good example to the name caller...
8 comments:
I do hope you find a chuch family that you will love. I feel very fortunate that I found mine! But as you said, it's just 4 walls - you can praise God everyday wherever you are. But, nothing can beat a good church each Sunday and other days as well. Visit all the churches in the area. We chose our church primarily due to the great youth program they had. Little did we know that we would end up loving it too.
Wow, Lori! Deep thoughts...deep thoughts!
What excellent advise for you daughter. Friends are invaluable and a trustworthy friend is truly rare indeed. You are teaching her well.
I pray one day you find a church, but admire your desire to wait on God's leading. Far too many people join a church because it is close or convenient, caring nothing about what kind of church it is.
You are a wise young woman. I enjoyed visiting your blog.
In Him,
Nancy
Thanks for the dose of realness. I am not surprised by it, you are so gifted in that quality. Writing and lettting those deep and pondered thoughts come pouring out. Elissa is a blessed little girl, having a mom like you. Thanks.
Enjoyed reading your blog.
Blessings!
dang girl! no, just kidding....i know exactly what you mean and how you feel. i think that's why we "clique"...ha, ha...get it? Click / clique...the very thing you just versed us on!!! HA! i'm in a silly mood...sorry! love ya!
Hi. I found you on the siesta blogroll. This is a great post that reveals a very hurtful situation that many of us have dealt with at church. (I've been on both sides and I know God has used my hurts to point out to me that I have done the same to others.) My husband and I were blessed to join our church a few months ago, but I fought it for two years. I was disgruntled with "church" and really wanted to be free from what I saw to be only games. But I thank Him for putting us where we are - we have been so blessed. I hope you find a place to grow and serve, too. I know that you don't have to be in "four walls" to grow and serve, but I pray you will come to a Christ-like assembly for your own edification and who knows - YOU could be a person God uses to bridge gaps in an assembly where cliques are a problem! Who better than someone who sees it and has been there? =)
Lori, thanks for visiting my blog! I have enjoyed your blog! I love that you're real and you're honest and you speak your heart! I also agree with you about some groups in some churches. I have a teenager and we have run across this in some Youth groups as well. They can turn into just a bunch of cliques and our youth have enough of that at school and everywhere else. They shouldn't have to deal with that at church!
Michelle
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